


From Chapped Lips

by Sacred



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bad Pick Up Lines, F/F, Flirting Is Not My Forte, Fluff, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 12:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3134453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sacred/pseuds/Sacred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarina Lavellan tries her best to let Josephine know she likes her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Chapped Lips

**Author's Note:**

  * For [faithtastic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithtastic/gifts).



> I apologize for the unoriginality of the pick-up lines used in this fic.

“Josephine?”

The diplomat looked up from one of the five missives she was currently dealing with, fixing her leader with a firm gaze. “Yes Inquisitor?”

“Do you jog?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Do you enjoy jogging in the morning?”

“Not particularly. Any reason for the question?”

“Well you've been running through my mind.”

Josephine blinked, the Inquisitor's slight smile vanished. “Inquisitor...if I may be so bold perhaps more time with Varric or Dorian might improve your comedic timing.”

“I'll...take that into consideration, thank you Josephine.”

“Anytime, now if you would please forgive me for not being able to talk. I must get eight more rolls of parchment done before the ambassador from King Alistair arrives.”

“I'll leave you to your work then,” Sarina Lavellan replied, nodding her head before exiting Josephine's Skyhold office.

///

Sarina thought she had a perfectly acceptable appearance. Long brown hair, violet eyes, a healthy tanned complexion, and plump hips. Not beauty incarnate but definitely well-formed. Sure she was a bit taller than most elves and had a few moles on her left shoulder-blade. Plus she tended to bite her lips when she was nervous, leading to their usually chapped condition, but other than those perceived imperfections she considered herself attractive. 

No, she thought, my appearance is not to blame. My sodding tongue is. Ever since Josephine had misconstrued her want to wander Skyhold alone with her as a tour complete with several mason workers, Sarina decided that being as forthcoming as possible would work. Most of her clan praised her for her sense of humor. So she tried using funny lines to show her attraction to Josephine.

But this latest blunder was quickly showing her latest attempt to woo the Antivan as a colossal failure. 

I wonder what other things you can do with your tongue had caused Josephine to think she was opening her mouth too much when she talked. Did it hurt when you left the Maker's side left Sarina with a reprimand about telling Maker jokes with others around. Bad for morale, Josephine had said. Though the elf was certain the room was empty but then Josephine had pointed out the silent aide to the diplomat to the right of her desk. The last one she had used before her current failure was a particular highlight in her desperation.

“Josefine, you're adorable.”

“It's pronounced Josephine, My Lady. I do not blame you though, I understand it is a rather exotic name considering your background.”

Sarina groaned and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Maybe she should just corner her and confess her feelings. But that was so bloody ordinary! Any fool in love could spout it out and she wanted to make Josephine feel unique and adored, not at all common. If only her romantic life was something she could beat up with her great-sword. Then things would be simple. Charge in, dodge when necessary, land a few good whacks, and that was it. 

Her imagination started to whirl then, her mind painting herself on a wide open field, stark naked. Bellowing with all her might, she charged towards a yellow-scaled dragon with dark brown eyes, blade at the ready. A surprisingly human tongue darted out from the dragon as it opened its mouth, Sarina readying herself for the blast of fire or cone of ice, but was surprised when it spoke instead. A deep, dragony-type of voice, Sarina realized, though the accent from that forked tongue set her heart to pumping.

“Don't be shy, my darling,” the dragon purred.

“Inquisitor!”

Blinking a bit, Sarina stared at her commander.

“Yes Cullen, is there something I can do for you?”

“No, you were just staring at me without speaking for a few moments. Even said your name a few times. Is everything alright?”

“Everything's...perfectly usual. I just need a drink.”

Cullen nodded at that and moved out of Sarina's way, shaking his head a bit about how distracted she had appeared to him just a few seconds ago.

///

“Bard, sing Once We Were, please. I need something in my day to be lovely right now.”

“As you wish, my lady.”

As the woman began the lyrics to her favorite song, Sarina took a deep drain of her mug, sighing heavily as the beer flowed down her throat.

“Fluffy butt's got you in a right state, hasn't she?” Sarina stared to her right as Sera plopped herself down on the empty stool, ribbing her in the side. “Just tell her how you want to poke your tongue in her nethers. Works all the time for me.”

“Too crude. Josie...I mean Josephine deserves something special.”

“You can't even see her arse properly with all those fluffy bits in front of it, definitely not worth all this woe is me shite.”

“Unlike you I don't look at women and see butts before all else.”

Sera nodded at her like she'd just said something profound before the elf made a flatulent noise with her armpit and ribbing her even harder. “Well that's you then and I'm me. You know what helps me get over the butts I don't get to enjoy?”

“Pranks?”

“No, I mean the rears I really wanted.” Sarina shook her head and Sera motioned towards the tavern-keeper. He soon had a squat jug in front of the pair of elves, complete with a couple of steins. Sera poured a dark liquid into one of the steins. “Drink up and forget about fluffy butt for a bit, savvy?”

Sarina found herself nodding and grabbing the stein, bringing it to her lips and knocking it back.

///

Sera's smile was as wide as her last human lover's arse at the thought of the Inquisitor crocked out of her mind and mumbling in her drunken stupor about Josephine. But she wasn't at the tavern with the snoring Inquisitor. Nor was she on her beloved perch on the roof. 

Instead, she was making her way through the main hall and a particular door.

Opening it, she found what she expected: Josephine hard at work with her quill.

Sera slammed the door, drawing the Antivan's attention. Striding forward, Sera squatted down into the chair, kicking her feet up onto the desk and just above Josephine's hand.

“Sera, a pleasure as always.”

The elf snorted. “Yeah right, fluffy butt. Anyway, Head Elf's passed out drunk at the tavern, sleep-gobbing about your loveliness.”

“Another prank and a particularly poor one on your part, Sera,” Josephine replied, returning to her writing until Sera slammed her hand down on the desk.

“It's not a joke! She's mumbling about how she's been talking you up for weeks now and you keep on misunderstanding her. So get your arse out of the chair and go talk to her!” The elf watched as Josephine recalled the conversations she'd had with the Inquisitor, the sudden moment of realization making Sera snort again as Josephine darted to her feet. Before she exited the room completely, Sera stopped her by grabbing her hand and pulling her back. “Just a moment, fluffy butt. I wanna see what all the fuss's about.”

A quick dart of her face has her lips on the diplomat's, Josephine breaking the kiss fiercely, a hand up before Sera quite realizes it. The slap hurts but Sera can't help but giggle as Josephine races out of the room.

“Not bad.”

///

 

Josephine cursed in Antivan as she darted towards the tavern, swiftly checking around her before spitting discreetly to get the taste of Sera's lips from her own. Silly, sure, but it was all she could do to calm her racing heart.

The Inquisitor liked her. Sarina had feelings for her.

Her face grew flushed as she ran down the stairs, mind playing back the conversations and the ridiculous attempts at flirting. Ridiculous, but not without a sense of charm, Josephine realized. Finally, she reached the tavern; all the plans she'd had for rousing Sarina and getting her safely to bed, upon which night's passing and morning's light could give them ample time to talk, flew from her mind. 

Cole was gently aiding Sarina to her feet, offering Josephine a small smile.

“Jo...Josie,” Sarina mumbled.

“Her head's a jumble. You're there, wearing white, standing beneath a great tree. Whispers. Love. Contentment. Never seen someone so lovely. Tent in the woods. Two of you, together, little children playing in the forest, call you both mother. Other elves drawing close, smiles all around. She's kissing you. Adores you. Needs you-

“Cole...stop,” Sarina manages to get out.

Cole nods and looks at Josephine. “I am sorry. She's had thoughts like that round her head since I first looked into her mind. It's been hard keeping to myself.”

“I understand Cole, thank you for watching out for her. Allow me to help you get her to her room.”

“Alright.”

///

Sarina gulps a bit as she enters Josephine's office, checking that they are indeed alone.

Josephine is not writing and her desk is bare for the first time Sarina could recall seeing it. She meets Josephine's gaze. “I understand if my feelings for you are not returned. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner.” Sarina stares at the floor as she finishes speaking.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Sarina.” That draws her eyes back to Josephine's. “I had thought about simply kissing you and holding you close, but decided that that wasn't quite fair, considering your thoughts were revealed to me last evening.”

“What are you going to do then?”

Josephine made a gesture and Cole suddenly appeared between them. “Cole, if you wouldn't mind.”

“Of course.” The young man moved aside so the pair could look at one another, Josephine moving closer until she was hugging Sarina tightly, her forehead pressed against the elf's as they looked into one another's eyes. “Adore. Want you by my side always. Never thought this moment possible. Love you so much. Wrinkles, old age, still together. House in Antiva. Sea breeze. Gulls. Deep forest, cold nights, together in tent, children with you by my side. Embrace. Cherish. Eternity.”

“Thank you Cole,” Sarina murmured.

“Can I ever have what you two have? It is beautiful.”

“We'll help you find it,” Josephine replied, looking towards Cole. “Could you maybe go help Varric with some ideas for his next story? I wish to be alone with the Inquisitor. Thank you again. I am blessed to know you.”

Cole nodded and left the room, his smile wider than either woman could recall seeing.

Alone, the pair looked at one another before Josephine kissed Sarina deeply on her chapped lips, bodies as close as possible.

 

///

A few days later finds Sera holding her hands up in a calming gesture towards a glaring Sarina in her room at the tavern.

“Now head elf, don't get sore just because I kissed fluffy butt-

“Her name is Josephine, Sera, and while I appreciate you spilling my attempts at wooing her, you kissed her against her will.”

Sera looked around for anything to turn the conversation towards something that didn't involve her getting pummeled. “That's a fine sword you've got there. Love the sparkly bits.”

Sarina soon had the glowing great-sword off her back and pointed towards Sera. “I'm glad you enjoy it. I had Dagna craft some special runes and I worked the forge myself. I call this beauty Josefine's Scorn and I think it and your rear should become more intimate. What do you say?”

“I say catch me if you can, fluffy butt-lover!”

A moment later Sarina's coughing from the smoke-bomb and Sera's running across the rooftops. Sighing as she exited the room, Sarina sheathed her weapon.

“Nice threat, Boss,” Bull put in from the ground floor.

“Thank you Bull. Mind meeting me by the training dummies? I've got some anger to let loose.”

“I don't mind at all.”


End file.
